I grew up in a VERY male dominated world and society I had two brothers, a Father and the only woman was my Mum, such words as Feminism I NEVER herd till I really left home in the early 1980’s and when I started to hang around MORE left winged thinking people, my Mum was a Typical Upper Working Class/Lower Middle Class HOUSEWIFE and she LOVED IT, I am not shore if she had ever read Germane Grearers The Unic book, she was defo not a Barr Burner waste of stuff. I come from Essex which then in the 1970’s and 1980’s was VERY male dominated, such people and groups like Dagenham where the Fords factory and a MAJOR player and MALE employer was based, plus A LOT people who worked in the city like my Dad did, my Dad’s job was extremely MALE dominated and I mean that in a HUGE way.
I wanted to go to Art College or something like that when I left school in 1983 this WOULDN’T be wise really a guy from my background, it was a place where women & softies went as well as Gay people went, I was a man and I should get a SO-CALLED real job like the Building trade, Mechanical, Fords or so on NOT a SO-CALLED limp-wristed arty farty ideas. When I finally got to Art College I said,” I am NOT painting or doing any ARTY FARTY films, I am gonna make hard hitting docs.” In total of five years of college I made or co-made eight films, only two where docs, my second year final project and my B.A. Film were REALLY arty and out there, in my second year of my degree I began to paint and now LOVE IT, I found a side in me that was SO amazing and gave me freedom. Some years ago I tried to do a degree first in Community Practise & Sociology I then then the following year switched them, in this I studied of course Feminism and I had studied some of this on my Access Course, I will go on record now and say I am NOT a Feminist I am an Equalalist I believe we are ALL equal and pretty much the same really.
I REALLY do believe there ISN’T any thing REALLY wrong in being Male and hetro I REALLY love being a man, I love my body and how it works and acts, I love being around my own Sex & one day I hope to run retreats for us men I REALLY believe that we are a race that is looking over a MASSIVE edge of obys and if we us a race DON’T turn so-called round and help each other and support each other we will pretty lose the plot for good, the amount of Males I know who are suffering in their OWN madness, lies that have been spun out to us that will KILL every one dead and I mean proper dead, one of the main causers of Heart Attacks and Mental Break Downs, but and I mean a HUGE but it is pretty much our OWN fault, we REALLY have to stop this BULLSHIT embrace the pain, accept the madness and ASK FOR HELP. I my self have been to the edge & I have seen the darkness grab and near on destroy me, I have beaten off the dark dark monster and banished it to hell it self, I must say this to finish, some of the BIGGEST and FULL ON creativity has come from the Darkness.